In a compelling conversation between Jillian Turecki and renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel, the two experts dive deep into the intricacies of modern relationships, exploring the themes of desire, eroticism, and connection. They highlight how couples can better understand each other and reignite passion, especially after years of familiarity. But how can we practically apply these lessons in daily life? Enter Stoke—a powerful relationship tool that not only keeps the spark alive but helps build stronger, more intentional connections every day.

Here’s a breakdown of key takeaways from their conversation on the Jillian on Love podcast, and how Stoke can help you put these insights into action in your relationship:

1. Eroticism vs. Sexuality: Bringing Imagination Into Relationships

Perel defines eroticism as more than just sexuality; it's an imaginative and emotional experience that goes beyond physical acts. Erotic intelligence is about feeling alive, playful, and vibrant. According to Perel, people can experience eroticism without engaging in sex, and they can engage in sex without feeling erotic.

How Stoke Helps: Stoke enables couples to tap into that imagination and emotional intelligence by offering thoughtful prompts and personalized ideas for reigniting connection. With Stoke, you can plan surprises or meaningful gestures tailored to your partner’s desires, keeping the relationship playful and exciting. It helps couples sustain the erotic, even through the daily grind.

2. Sustaining Desire: Curiosity Over Complacency

One of the most profound insights from the conversation is Perel’s emphasis on staying curious in a relationship. While love thrives on familiarity, desire requires mystery and novelty. The challenge in long-term relationships is to balance both—remaining curious about your partner, even as you grow closer.

How Stoke Helps: Stoke ensures you stay proactive and curious by reminding you of your partner’s evolving interests, preferences, and dreams. It encourages you to keep discovering new ways to surprise and delight your partner, offering fresh ideas for dates, experiences, or even small everyday gestures that keep the relationship alive and thriving.

3. Overcoming Sexual Gridlocks: Open Communication is Key

Perel notes that many couples face sexual impasses because they don’t talk openly about their desires or needs. When communication breaks down, partners can feel frustrated and disconnected, often leading to complacency or dissatisfaction.

How Stoke Helps: Stoke helps couples get unstuck by facilitating conversations around desires, preferences, and expectations. Stoke’s ability to track preferences allows you to surprise your partner in ways that matter, breaking free from routine and creating opportunities for deeper connection. Whether it’s planning an unexpected romantic getaway or simply remembering their favorite flowers, Stoke fosters thoughtful communication and meaningful actions.

4. Self-Discovery and Playfulness: Erotic Intelligence Starts With You

A core theme in the discussion is the idea that erotic intelligence begins with self-awareness and playfulness. Perel and Turecki explore how women, in particular, often carry the burden of caretaking, which can block their ability to fully embrace their own desires.

How Stoke Helps: Stoke encourages self-discovery by helping partners pay attention to the little details that make each other feel cherished. By using Stoke, you can celebrate your partner’s unique preferences, from their favorite spa treatments to a preferred brand of wine. Stoke not only supports romantic gestures but also helps partners create space for each other’s self-care and personal growth.

5. Bringing Aliveness Back to the Relationship: Stoke’s Ultimate Purpose

In the podcast, Perel talks about cultivating aliveness and playfulness to prevent relationships from feeling “dead.” She stresses that maintaining the erotic requires effort and intentionality.

How Stoke Helps: Stoke was designed for exactly this purpose—to help couples keep the spark alive, no matter how long they’ve been together. By offering personalized suggestions and reminders for meaningful gestures, Stoke empowers you to be consistently thoughtful and proactive. It allows you to transform routine interactions into moments of connection and joy, reigniting the aliveness in your relationship.

Conclusion: Stoke as Your Relationship Ally

Jillian Turecki and Esther Perel provide deep, valuable insights into how couples can transform their relationships by embracing curiosity, communication, and intentionality. Stoke aligns seamlessly with their advice, offering practical tools that help you act on these principles daily. Whether it's remembering a significant date, planning a surprise, or simply staying engaged in your partner’s evolving desires, Stoke makes it easy to keep your relationship vibrant, alive, and thriving.

To enhance your relationship and put these expert insights into action, start using Stoke today—it’s the ultimate tool to "Keep Your Relationship Lit."

Learn more from the experts themselves:
Follow Jillian Turecki on Instagram
Follow Esther Perel on Instagram

‍